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I never like to admit to my husband that I am wrong. The very few times I have admitted to being wrong he acted like he won the Super Bowl so I try to not make it a habit. It doesn't happen too often anyways. Even when he is right I can usually turn the situation into me never having to admit it. We women are really good at it. I think it must be genetic.
So onto me being possibly (but probably not) wrong.
One of the big rules in marriage is to not downgrade your spouse to your family. I watch Dr. Phil. I know this. BUT...Aren't there some exceptions? In my family all of the older women have been married for years upon years and when they get together they talk about their husbands. It is all in fun. Women complain about men. It is what we do. It is how women connect.
My mom and I are really close and talk numerous times a day. The other day I was frustrated with Jeremy and decided to gripe to my mom about it. It was all petty-just helping around the house stuff.
Well Jeremy and I were "talking" about the issue later and I told him something funny my mom said about it. His feelings were hurt because he said I was talking behind his back.
I tried to explain to him that my complaining about him didn't change the way my mom thinks of him. She already thinks he is lazy. Haha. I told him that. He did not think that was funny. She will gripe about my dad and I'll gripe about my husband and we'll make jokes. Just picture a Roseanne episode.
When real issues come up I do not discuss them with my mom. I just don't see the harm in a little women chat with my mom. Since having Jack I rarely see or talk to my friends so my mom is the person I vent to. That is all it really is, a little venting.
I know I have to consider my husband's feelings about him not wanting me to discuss him with my mom.
Do you vent about your relationship to your mom?
This totally got me in trouble...I used to be super close to my mom before we were relocated. My husband said we were too close. I would share just about anything with my mom. I would catch myself having bitch sessions about my husband with her, of course it was nothing major just daily frustrations of being married. I quickly learned to keep my mouth shut, to anyone. I would quickly get over whatever little petty fight we were having but the person I would talk to aka my mom wouldn't. My husband is really big about people not knowing our business (not that we having any busniess,..we are so borring)...Me, I'm an open book. but i have learned to keep private things private. i agree, a little girl talk about the husbands isn't a bad thing once in awhile. Great post.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the follow on my blog! I had to stop by yours & now a follower of yours! I have been reading on bloglovin for awhile I just always fail to go follow or comment when I see post I wanna comment on!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to you very well I too talk to my mom in regards to the lazy hubs who doesn't do the around the house stuff or just stuff in general. My mom is like my BFF. It's easier to talk to her on the phone everyday than friends. I really on text friends daily.
I vent to anyone that will listen...but you have to share the good with the bad and know who your talking to and how they will react. Some people dont handle it well and think its the end of your relationship and want to start drama....those people you dont talk to about that. But as far as talking to your mom, you got to learn what to share with your husband as far as what you talk about with your mom. You not trying to keep secrets but its your mom, and if you are that close with her, he has got to know your going to talk to her about your feelings.
ReplyDeleteI'm a big fan of not talking poorly about my husband to people in public or at work. I think it's disrespectful to disparage your spouse, and it makes the disparager look worse than the disparagee (is that even a word?) With that being said, though, how on earth do women NOT gripe to their mom's (or best friends or sisters or whatever) about stupid stuff your husband does? Or doesn't do? I think if you don't have someone to vent to, you just end up letting toxic stuff build up and it will end up negatively affecting your marriage at some point.
ReplyDeleteMy mom and I aren't close but my bff and I vent to each other about our husbands all the time. If something is bothering me and I don't get it out, then it'll blow up into something major. That's just how I am.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes talk about my relationship to my Mom, but I try to express myself so that she knows all the aspects of a situation. I try not to 'just complain.' It can be difficult sometimes. Everyone is sensitive (even the most manly man), and needs to be treated gently. Thanks so much for sharing. X Jane http://janeheinrichs.blogspot.com
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