Mrs. Mama Has a Biter

Jack attends daycare while I'm at work. About two months ago he went on a biting rampage all in one day where he bit 3 times (2 of those times was one baby). As the mother I was so ashamed at what he had done. It was serious mommy guilt at its worst. At that time he was only 16 months old so it wasn't like I could have a talk with him to get him to understand that it was wrong. At daycare they put him in timeout in a playpen.

I thought the issue was over but today when I picked him up I learned that he had bitten again (the girl he had bit the 2 times before). Two months ago the mother of the baby he had bitten was not happy at all. I know that told her today that she was bitten again by my sweet biting monster Jack. So I know she isn't happy and I don't blame her at all. The other mother of the child he bit was a lot nicer and said "well next time it could be my child who bites". I appreciated her positive attitude. 

My stomach is in knots knowing that the mother is all mad again. I don't blame her but I still don't like it. I hate someone having negative feelings about my sweet baby. 

Here are some pieces of advice for dealing with parents whose kids have been bitten by your child.

1. Talk to the daycare provider and get all the information about what happened. You want to know the facts.

2. Talk to your daycare provider and discuss discipline when the biting happens.  Our specific daycare can only do separating by putting him in the playpen. You don't want them to be too harsh nor too lax. Discuss with your partner what form of discipline you are most comfortable with and if he bites at home then do your own discipline. I can't help but wish one of those kids would just bite him back.  

3. Reach out to the parents in some way. I chose to call them. You could see a note if calling them is not an option. You could mail a note to their house or take it to the daycare for them to give to the parent.

4. When speak or writing to the bitten kids parent make sure to let them know that you are not okay. I explained to them that unfortunately we haven't been able to discipline the biting ourselves because he hasn't bitten around us. I did explain that it is not okay and that I felt mortified by what he had done. I apologized a million times. After talking to the mad mother she said "I really appreciate you reaching out to me because you have me feel much better". She started out angry and that phone call calmed her phone. The other mother was crazy nice but she also said she loved that I had called her. 

5. When Easter rolled around I made sure to bring really nice gifts to all the kids. I kinda thought of it as a "I'm really not a bad mom who lets their kids get by with stuff" so here is a nice gift to make you have positive thoughts about my sweet bitter. 

Any suggestions from mamas whose babies were biters?