Cold Weekend in Review

We ended up leaving school at 10:30 on Friday so we went in for nothing and we will have to make up the day. It's okay because I got to spend a little extra time with my family-just the 3 of us. It was the 3 of us all weekend long and it was wonderful! 
Here is my car Friday afternoon.

It didn't do much Friday once I got home. It just sleeted on and off. I also downloaded the book The Husband's Secret for an online book club I'm apart of through my November 2012 What to Expect When Your Expecting group. So far it is a really good book. I'm happy to be reading a book again. It's been too long. 

Jack has taken to a blankie which is the cutest thing ever.

Saturday we made our very first gingerbread house! It has officially become a new family tradition. Jeremy had so much fun that he wants to make a gingerbread village.  Here are a few pictures.

Here is a picture of our Christmas tree. If you look at the mirror you can see Jeremy standing watching tv. He often watches tv while standing. It drives me crazy! I don't see how he can be comfortable standing there for so long.

Sunday we spent more family time together and I watched Father of the Bride. I also got the house back in order and got things ready for the week. 

It was so nice to have a family weekend!

A Selfish Rant

My husband is an EMT. I knew this when I met him and I surely knew this when I married him. His job frustrates me. Let me preface this by saying there are many families who have it worse. Many families face their wife or husband leaving for very long periods of time. I feel for you because our situation isn't nearly that bad and I hate it.
The 24 hour shift thing is for the birds. My husband doesn't just love it but he doesn't just hate it like I do. He just thinks of it as part of it. When he does a 24 hour shift he is usually gone for a few days and then home for a few days. We dealt with the 24 hour shift thing until this past February and then he got a day job as an EMT. It was amazing. I was recovering from surgery and about to go back to work. We had Jack and were going to get to be a "normal" family for the first time. Last week he gave me the bad news that he had to go back on 24 hour shifts. We got into a huge fight. I was bratty and mad and being very selfish but I did not care. The anger of my life being flipped upside down again just infuriated me.

Did you know that ambulance is spelled backwards so you can read it from your rear view mirror?

Here is why I hate him working 24s:
1. I can't sleep. I hear every noise. I worry about someone breaking in. I worry about the house catching on fire. I worry that something will happen to me. I worry something will happen to Jack. When he has worked 24s in the past I always slept on the couch. After we had Jack, I was on the couch and he was in his pack n play. We have since transitioned him into his crib. I don't want to mess up Jack's sleep routine but I'm worried that I will not be able to sleep unless Jack is in the room with me.
2. Meals. I had finally gotten into a routine of meal planning. I am not going to cook a meal just for me so I am going to be stuck eating quick food that is either cold or microwaved. Now I will also have to buy groceries and meal plan around his schedule. I have to make sure he has his food and I have my food. It's just more planning on my part that I just don't wanna have to do again.
3. Mornings. We have a system down. He will either feed Jack in the morning while I am dressing and then we switch and the other gets him ready while the other is getting dressed. It works and I like it. Now I will have to do mornings on my own.
4. Bedtime. It works like the mornings. We share the responsibility. Now I'll be on my own.

I've liked our routine since February and I'm not happy about it changing. I just wanted to rant about it.
The End.

Diaper Disaster

 Wednesday my husband called to say he would be leaving work in ten minutes. I let him know that when he got home I would need to run to Walmart for diapers. Surprisingly, he said "I'll get them". I was thrilled! I hate going to Walmart and I know how much he hates stopping when he is anxious to get home. I quickly changed into my jammies at 5 pm and relished in my amazing husband. That was until he got home. He walked in with the diapers in a Sunflower sack. For all of you who don't live around these parts, Sunflower is the one grocery store in the town my husband works in. He bought diapers from a grocery store! Do you have any idea how much diapers cost at a grocery store, and not just any grocery store, the only grocery store in town? He pulled them out of the sack so proud and announced "they have bunnies on them". He bought the most generic brand they had and they still cost the same as a box of Huggies from Walmart. Now I will say that he asked when he called if it mattered what brand. I just never thought of him buying generic. I also never thought he would stop at the grocery store. I really thought he would stop at Walmart when he came into town and when I said the brand didn't matter I meant Luvs, Huggies, or Pampers. Hello lack of communication! When Jack woke up at 2:30 am for a diaper change and a bottle he was soaked from his underarms to his diaper. I marched right into our bedroom, woke my husband up, pointed to Jack, and said "this is why you don't buy cheap diapers". He rolled over and went back to sleep and didn't even remember my rant the next morning so I had to start over. Oh how I hate repeating myself.
I wasn't really mad at him because I should have been more specific but it did make me chuckle to have another point on the mamas are awesome side. A mama wouldn't have made that mistake. I told my mom about that story because us mamas have to stick together. When I got home Friday from work I had 3 big boxes of good diapers inside my house and a 100 dollar bill under the formula can. Moms are awesome. Just another piece of proof.

Pinterest Envy

Sometimes in life we get into funks and I'm here to tell you I'm in one of them. It's like I WANT stuff but I don't WANT to actually do it. Here are some examples:

I want to cook this:

But we will be having this:

I want to make this:

I'm really doing this:

I want to think this:

But I am really thinking this:

I want my house to look like this:

But it looks a lot like this:

Okay it isn't nearly this bad but when you have OCD you feel like it does.

I want to be this wife:

I feel like this one.

I want this husband:

This is more like it:

Pinterest is a lovely thing. How would I ever know all the things I can't have?

Back Home

Although I'm all grown up with a house and family of my own, it's nice to go back to your mama's house from time to time. I spent Saturday and most of Sunday at my parents. They watched Jack Friday night while me and the girlfriends got together for a long over due night out. My husband was busy this weekend so it was a great one to see friends and go back home.
Since my mom broke her leg (7 weeks ago now) she can't cook her amazing food that I usually get when I'm there so instead I made salads and baked potatoes. We sat around talking and watching tv. We even sat on the front porch for awhile because it was so nice outside.
Here is a picture of Jack wearing his cousin's Arkansas Razorback cap:

Here is another picture of Jack chillin' on the front porch:

A picture that shows his first teeth:

Going back home is nice but it is sure nice to be back home.

I'm gonna go ahead and say I may not do a great job at blogging this week. The book fair at the school is all next week and as the librarian I'm in charge. I'll be exhausted every day when I get home and will still have to do my house business like that stupid cooking and cleaning crap. I'm gonna do my best though. I'm going to try and not spend the paycheck I got on Friday at the book fair. Now that I have a child I can't help but buy books for that cute face. I'll be sure to do a post on the ones I buy. 

Got a Wild Hair Up My Butt

You know how sometimes an idea pops in your head and you start doing before you think-well that is what I did. We have a den that use to a garage (before we moved in). The room is useless to us and I had enough. It is the biggest room in the house and it's only purpose is holding furniture and junk mail. It is the room you walk in from the outside and it looks awful. When I first looked at the house to possibly buy the owner had it as his man cave. After I moved in (I was single at the time) it became a wasted space. The tv and the couch was in the living room. I put my treadmill in there, a bench, and a chair. Basically it became a catch-all. After my man moved in we made one wall a chalkboard wall and put up a dartboard and then added a folding table. Now that we have Jack and we no longer played darts the room needed a purpose. I decided we would make this room into a playroom for Jack/office. Saturday morning (while everyone was still asleep) I moved out the furniture and started pulling up the carpet. Thankfully when my husband woke up and after saying "what the hell are you doing" he started helping. Here are some pics.

After painting 

Did you know you can get mistinted paint at Sherwin Williams for $5 (you just gotta ask to see it in the back)

Another after painting pic

My husband pulling up the strips

Pulling up the carpet

It started with me doing this

We were able to take the carpet up and remove the strips around the wall and we also were able to finish painting the room. Our next step is putting down new molding and finding vinyl to put down. Eventually this will make a great playroom/office!

Adventures of a Mama

My parents have asked to keep Jack for the night which I hesitated about when they asked. I kept putting them off saying "I needed to see if Jeremy wanted to do anything". I really miss him when he isn't with me. Plus as a working mom I don't get to see him as much as I would like. I finally agreed because they do rarely get to see him and it would be nice for us to get to have a date night.

During the day we start a house project (check out the post about that tomorrow) but that night we finally went to check out the new Italian restaurant in town. Let me tell you a little something about where I live. It's a small town and there are not many places to sit down and have a nice meal so when this place opened everyone was excited. I don't even actually know the real name, we just call it The Italian Place. Here are some pics from our dinner out:

So yummy!

The pic I took after asking if I could take a pic

Before we left the house

The pic I took without asking

Best cake ever!

After dinner we decided to just go back home (we were so full). Some friends were getting together but I decided to just lay in the bed watching Gilmore Girls and playing Candy Crush (discovered it last night) and he watched tv in the living room (we don't agree on good tv). Isn't that what married people do? I took 2 Tylenol PM and slept all night. It was fabulous!

My Horrible Birth Story Part 2

For Part 1 Click Here

So there I was stuck 2 hours away from my baby who was having trouble breathing. I wasn't in my right mind. Frozen was how I felt. It became all business. I have learned that during trying times I become all business. It was all about answers. How do I get in touch with doctors to tell me how my baby is doing? When can I leave? Who will be there with him since I can't? How will I get there when I am released? What needs to happen for him to get released?

I disconnected. For me it felt like I was living outside of my body. I wanted to sleep and wake up with everything fixed.

Baptist Hospital did an amazing job with keeping me informed. I could call at any time and get information. My parents were wonderful also. They would send me pictures and video letting me be able to see my baby. I was scared that I wouldn't get to hold him first but also scared that  he wasn't getting held. I told the hospital to let my mom hold him but they said they would wait for me. I was so worried that he didn't feel loved. 

Honestly I'm not sure how I survived those 2 1/2 days until I was finally freed. My parents stayed at a nearby hotel in case they needed to get to the hospital quickly. They were there so much. They were able to take our place. 

During this time my husband was ill. He was at the doctor most of the day after Jack was born. We were worried he wouldn't be able to go into the NICU the next day when I would be released. I had an amazing friend who stayed at the hospital with me during this time. She literally stayed up all night with me that first night. 

Finally got released that Friday mid-morning and we high tailed it the 2 hours to Little Rock. I was so sore and swollen but I didn't care. As soon as I saw him I started crying. I couldn't stop. The nurse was worried about handing him over to me because I couldn't stop crying. She kept asking me if I was okay. My husband snapped pictures like crazy. 

We could only hold him for short increments because he needed to be monitored. My parents got us a room to stay in so we would be close by. Two days later they moved us to a transition room. If all went well there then we could go home. We would be on our own to take care of him. The nurses still would come in every 2 hours and he still had to be hooked up. Oh those damn machines. They beeped so much and would freak me out. I quickly learned that every little thing made them go off. So annoying! 

Well that is part 2! There is so much more to come. It took me a long time to write part 1 and longer to write part 2 because this was all very traumatic for me and my family. It was not a happy time for us but more a constant state of fear. 

Friday's Letters

Dear kiddos,
Giving the Benchmark has been so nice this week. Getting to work with just you 8 instead of 800 was nice on my nerves. I got to know you better and we had the most fun we could. The student who drew an actual table (like one you sit and eat at) instead of a table for information, you made my day. I love kids!

Dear Husband,
Sorry for snapping at you the other day. I hate that I scream when I get frustrated. Remember I am only taking it out on you because you love me regardless. Won't you be so happy when Jack's teeth actually come in?

Dear Den,
Some big changes are coming your way real soon so don't get too comfortable. We hope to start work on you this Sunday. Look out!

Dear Ears (especially you left one),
Could you please stop hurting???

Jack,
I know teething sucks and I am so sorry. Wish there was something I could do. You will not chew on your toys. The meds don't seem to help. It hurts mom to see you in pain.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

I Need to Rearrange My Day

A typical day runs like this for me:
6:00-6:30//get myself dressed
6:30-7:00//get Jack up fed, dressed, and changed
7:00-7:15//get stuff the day ready
7:15-8:00//drive to work and drop Jack at daycare
8:00-4:30//work, pick Jack up, and drive home
4:30-5:30//blog while Jack naps
5:30-6:00//play with Jack and start supper
6:00-7:00//eat supper, clean up, play with Jack
7:00-8:00//clean up, play with Jack, bath, laundry, just random house stuff
8:00-8:30//feed Jack and get him down for bed
8:30-9:30//watch tv or take care of things I didn't get a chance to do

As you see there is no fitness whatsoever in that schedule. I use to be a walker. Every day when I got home from work I would walk. Getting pregnant stopped that immediately. I spotted a lot early on and was too scared to exercise. Plus I had worked all day and wanted to sit.

Jack is now 5 months old and I'm still holding on to 30 lbs. I need to put exercise back into my life. I'm the kind of person who can't just eat better and lose weight. Exercise is a must in order for the scale to budge. I just don't know where to put the time it would take to workout for at least 30 minutes a day. After much thought about how my day works, I decided that I need to start walking as soon as I get home from work like I use to. During that time I've already been up and moving so what's 30 more minutes? Plus Jack is asleep during that time and if it is nice out then I can pop him in the stroller. If he is asleep, I can jump on the treadmill. 

Now I say all of this without actually doing any of it yet but it's a nice thought. I'll keep you in the know and tell you if I'm able to stay on track. Of course, my new problem is when will I blog. My plan is to do better about writing posts for the week on the weekends. At night before bed I can read my favorite blogs. I'll hopefully figure it out and lose those 30 lbs!

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Jack at 5 Months

Most mom's would be upset that their little baby is 5 months old but not this mama. I love it! Not upset at all that he isn't a little baby anymore. I'm loving this new phase. I get more sleep. He is so much fun. He is developing a little personality. I'm more at ease. It's just an overall better situation. Newborns are fun and all but I am loving where we are heading.

What's up with Jack?
-Celebrated his first Easter

-Found his toes

-Held his bottle (doesn't happen all the time)
-Loves "The Wheels on the Bus"
-Got his 4 month shots (we were late getting them due to antibiotics)
-Had his first fever and rash (thank you shots)

-Loves daddy and son time

-Finds Lexi infatuating

-Will grab toys and put them in his mouth
-Wakes up once in the night, eats, and goes back to sleep (most nights)
-Puts himself to sleep
-Enjoying the taste of carrots, apples, and sweet potatoes (we just let him have a few bites for practice)
-Loves when mom tries to sing and really likes "you are my sunshine"
-Still hates tummy time

There are 34 more days of school until summer and this mama is counting down because I can not wait for this summer. No daycare. Just mom and son during the day. I can't wait to spend that time with him. I'll get to spend 3 months being a stay at home mom!

Friday's Letters

Dear Spring,

 Welcome! Glad to see your face around these parts. You have been missed.

Dear Jack,

You are growing more of a personality every day. I love the way you are starting to hit your toys so they will rattle. You Dad and I love hearing you laugh. Every time we change your clothes you giggle because your neck is so ticklish. So darn cute! Mommy loves singing you “The Wheels on the Bus”. Your favorite part is the wipers going swish, swish, swish.

Dear Work,

As happy as I am to have a job, I am ready for summer vacation. Having to go to you everyday while I really want to be at home playing with Jack is getting old. Waking up at 6 am does not make me happy when I have to rush out the door to get myself to you and Jack to daycare.

Dear Yard,

Can you please clean yourself? I’m not one for working in the yard and I can’t afford to pay anyone to do it. I know you see your neighbor with its grass all cut and yard decorated and you want to be like her but I just don’t see it happening. Sorry! I’ll try-that’s all I can give you.

Dear Husband,

I’m sorry you have clinicals all weekend. Last weekend was so much fun and I’m sorry you don’t get to spend your weekend with us. I promise we will not have too much fun without you.

Dear Weekend,

I wish we had plans that consisted of a mini vacation or at least plans where we could do something together. Instead nothing is planned. I’m sure productiveness will occur but that just isn’t nearly as fun as a road trip.

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All Over the Place

What kind of cleaner are you?

Do you have a schedule or do you clean sporadically?

I'm a "to-doer" on so many levels but when it comes to cleaning I'm just all over the place.

I've made the family cleaning schedule (several times I might add).

Ever so often a blogger will post about their cleaning schedule and will even include the printable.

 I'll print that bad boy out and get excited about our new cleaning schedule that I WILL stick to this time.

It works-for a freaking day or two-and then it gets dropped. 

My diets work about the same way but that's a whole different story. 

When I saw this funny I recognized it as me pretty quickly.

I hate this about myself. 

I wish I could stick to a cleaning schedule. 

I clean every day. 

It is just never a scheduled clean. 

Sometimes I do laundry before work.

Sometimes I don't do laundry for days.

That system really doesn't work.

I'll tell myself that I will no longer go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink and by golly for 2 whole mornings I'll wake up with a clean sink.

Then it will be a long day and I will just wanna go to bed so I tell myself I'll just leave them just this once and then the next morning I'm bummed about my dirty kitchen.

I'll come home from work and have to cook supper and then it is too much to clean now that you are all full from the great meal you just cooked. 

That will last until I've had a enough or we run out of cups and then "I am going to stop going to bed with dirty dishes" starts again.

Vicious cycle people. 

What do I plan on doing about this problem?

1. Yell at my husband that he needs to help me out more with the cleaning.

2. Stick to that cleaning schedule on my fridge.

3. Run around cleaning like a mad woman and then stop because now I have to clean out the closets.

Probably 1 and 3 because sticking to a cleaning schedule just doesn't work for me even as much as I wished it did. 

I can't help it I have ADCD!

I would like to know....how do you clean?

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Easter Cuteness

Our first Easter as a little family! I dreamed of dyeing eggs with my child and now it is here. Now of course he had zero idea what was going on but luckily mom was there to capture the memories for him. 

And of course my baby had to have an Easter basket.

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter!