Mrs. Mama Can't Fight

Good parents try to shield their children from their adult relationship issues. My parents were so great at keeping their problems from us that as far as I knew they never fought.  Now as a parent myself, I appreciate that they gave us a sense of comfort and stability. Being able to contain issues that came up is no easy feat. I admire those skills. 

The flip side of that is we were never aware of the reality of what marriage looks like. I never saw them work through a problem as a married couple.

Would I have benefited from seeing them argue? What about hearing them compromise? Or is it the kids business at all? Were my parents right from shielding us? 

I can only give my perspective. I knew my parents loved each other. I also "knew" they never fought. Their protectiveness unfortunately left me with a distorted view of marriage. 

When Jeremy and I got married and we hit an inevitable rough spot I thought we were doomed because I truly believed that couples who fought were breaking up. I could have been spared a lot of anguish had I'd known that arguing is normal. I would go through periods of time where I believed my marriage was falling apart because we were fighting a lot and married couples in love don't fight.

With that being said, how would I have felt as a young child hearing and seeing my parents fight? Would I feel like my foundation wasn't steady? Or did they do me an injustice by not showing me that couples fight and how to work through problems?

So what do you think? 

How Candy Crush Changed My Life

I joined the candy crush bandwagon about 3 weeks ago. My husband joined in a week later because I put it on his phone because he kept stealing mine. Now to most people it is just a game but to us it was just the thing to bring some joy back into our chaotic lives. I know how sad and pathetic that sentence sounded but the truth is the truth. We are busy people so playing a quick round of candy crush is a fast thing we do throughout the day and when Jack goes to sleep we will often play our 5 lives before bed. We get gangsta serious about it. Trash talk at its best. Competition can be fun in a relationship.

 

My husband has actually said to me "if you give me a life I'll do the dishes". We send friendly texts about what level we are on.We aggravate each other by covering up each others phone screens. We say silly things like "your talking is messing up my game". We have fun with it. Since having a baby we don't get out much so something as silly as a game on our phones has brought fun competition to us again. It isn't the same as drinking a beer while playing pool but that's just the life of parents with a 6 month old.