Since the separation things between Jeremy and I have not gotten any better. In fact, they have gotten much worse. His sister called me to check on Jack and I and we started talking and she told me some things about Jeremy that were shocking. She thought I was aware of this information but in reality I had been lied to for over 3 years. Sorry that I have to be so vague but honestly it is too painful to write and I'm not sure if it is best to put it all out there, at least right now.
One of the most difficult parts is that it wasn't very long ago that we were a couple who said I love you and meant it. Now it is just hurtful words and betrayal. He is living with a woman he use to work with. Although he and I will never be back together, it still hurts that he is probably enjoying the excitement of a new relationship. I, on the other hand, am in constant termoil about making the right decisions for myself and Jack.
Speaking of Jack, he is loving living with family. At my parents my sister, her husband, and my nephew also live there for now while there house is being built. The boys fight like brothers and they love each other like brothers. I love seeing their relationship grow.
I've been doing my best to compile a list of things that I need to get done. Being in "take care of stuff" mode helps me to stay focused and not break down.
Another difficult part is just knowing that this is just the start of a very long road. Although I have filed for divorce, the papers haven't been delivered yet and he has said he will not sign for them which means I will have to get a process server to deliver them by hand. Hopefully, the ball will start rolling faster and things can start settling down. I'm ready for a slow down.
My main goal is to make sure Jack is happy, healthy, and safe. He is my number one priority no matter what happens. I will always be thankful to Jeremy for the gift of Jack. Jack is such a blessing.
I hope that no one who reads this blog is ever betrayed by someone they love. It is extremely difficult and when there is a child involved it makes it that much harder. Any prayers or nice thoughts are greatly appreciated.