Thursday, May 9, 2013

A Selfish Rant

My husband is an EMT. I knew this when I met him and I surely knew this when I married him. His job frustrates me. Let me preface this by saying there are many families who have it worse. Many families face their wife or husband leaving for very long periods of time. I feel for you because our situation isn't nearly that bad and I hate it.
The 24 hour shift thing is for the birds. My husband doesn't just love it but he doesn't just hate it like I do. He just thinks of it as part of it. When he does a 24 hour shift he is usually gone for a few days and then home for a few days. We dealt with the 24 hour shift thing until this past February and then he got a day job as an EMT. It was amazing. I was recovering from surgery and about to go back to work. We had Jack and were going to get to be a "normal" family for the first time. Last week he gave me the bad news that he had to go back on 24 hour shifts. We got into a huge fight. I was bratty and mad and being very selfish but I did not care. The anger of my life being flipped upside down again just infuriated me.
Did you know that ambulance is spelled backwards so you can read it from your rear view mirror?

Here is why I hate him working 24s:
1. I can't sleep. I hear every noise. I worry about someone breaking in. I worry about the house catching on fire. I worry that something will happen to me. I worry something will happen to Jack. When he has worked 24s in the past I always slept on the couch. After we had Jack, I was on the couch and he was in his pack n play. We have since transitioned him into his crib. I don't want to mess up Jack's sleep routine but I'm worried that I will not be able to sleep unless Jack is in the room with me.
2. Meals. I had finally gotten into a routine of meal planning. I am not going to cook a meal just for me so I am going to be stuck eating quick food that is either cold or microwaved. Now I will also have to buy groceries and meal plan around his schedule. I have to make sure he has his food and I have my food. It's just more planning on my part that I just don't wanna have to do again.
3. Mornings. We have a system down. He will either feed Jack in the morning while I am dressing and then we switch and the other gets him ready while the other is getting dressed. It works and I like it. Now I will have to do mornings on my own.
4. Bedtime. It works like the mornings. We share the responsibility. Now I'll be on my own.

I've liked our routine since February and I'm not happy about it changing. I just wanted to rant about it.
The End.

3 comments :

  1. Oh no, that's awful! :( I would be mad too, even if it's not his fault. It's so frustrating having to do everything on your own! Do you know how long he's going to have to do 24s this time?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sorry. :( It definitely sounds hard!
    My husband used to be a volunteer EMT and he'd be on call overnight, which didn't bother me. But on the weekends no one was on call and if they were available they were supposed to go. I hated it! He could be running out of the house at any time.
    But at least he'd come back in an hour or so! I'd hate having him gone for days (I do hate it when he travels for work)!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can't imagine! I'd hate that. Marc used to work overnight and I hated it too. I sleep much better now that he works days. Hang in there my friend!

    ReplyDelete