Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Postpartum Fuse

You bring home that precious angel and everything seems perfect. It's a high that not even Snoop Dog can achieve. The scent of your little one-high. Seeing your husband rock that sweet bundle-high. Even his poopie diapers-high. You just eat everything up. Man it's a good feeling!

That feeling fades. Shit gets real.

The pressure hits. You start feeling angry. You don't like it but it's there. 

Your reality isn't your husband's reality. Life isn't fair. You may even feel alone. 

You may even find yourself being someone that isn't you. You husband might tell you that you need some meds because you are turning into a B. You don't want to be that person. You just find yourself being angry because you feel alone or anxious or scared. 

I was mean to my husband at times. Down-right mean. That isn't me. I was jealous that he was so laid back and I was feeling so high strung. I was jealous that he was getting to sleep through the night. I was mad because I wanted everything to be perfect and he was okay with a messy house. I felt fat and ugly. I felt all this stress on me and I was taking it out on him. 

The good news-it gets better. As you get into a routine and your baby starts sleeping through the night things do get better. You start going out into the world again. It is such a better place to be than the new baby high and the anger zone-it is comfortable-it is home. 

6 comments :

  1. Adjusting to motherhood is super hard. I am actually having a harder time right now. I'm so exhausted by Violet and I don't have patience for my husband after being with her all day. It's just hard.

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    1. Thank you for linking up to Raising Imperfection!
      Make sure to check back on Friday to see if you were featured.
      Leslie
      www.violetimperfection.com

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  2. Ugh, what I hate? I'm still walking to Travis's room 2-3 times per night to feed him and whenever he wakes up around 7, Jon does nothing. He sleeps. I get up with the baby and he sleeps until 8 or 9 if he has to work or 10 or 11 if he's off. It makes me so angry that I want to hit him a million times in the face with his pillow!!! Why can't he just naturally read my mind and be helpful?

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  3. Yes, yes and yes!

    Thank you for linking to Raising Imperfection.
    Please come back Friday to see if you were featured. :)

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    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    Raising-Reagan.com

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