Thursday, December 26, 2013

You Can't Pick Your Family

Well in this case my husband can't pick his family. I've been needing to get this off my chest for a few days and now that I've calmed down I'm ready to talk about it calmly. I wouldn't normally put this out there but I know this isn't going to be read by anyone who shouldn't need to read this. 

While I was dealing with a very sick baby who was in the hospital



I was slammed on Facebook by my husband's sister. She has since took the comments down but not before I took a screenshot of them. 

This sister I have only met one time and who has never met Jack. She did send us a gift card for Jack last year at Christmas which was greatly appreciated. When it became time for us to send out Christmas cards she had deleted her Facebook. I didn't have her number so I put my husband in charge of getting her address. It came down to crunch time and he said just send it to his mama's house and she would give it to her. Soon after she came back to Facebook so I sent her a message letting her know that I did send her a card and that it was at her mom's house. She was rude about it and said I should have her address from the card she sent last year. Well it got throw away-sorry! 

Tuesday while Jack was in the hospital he and I were still asleep that morning when Jeremy's sister called. My phone was on vibrate so I just ignored it and went back to sleep. Soon after Jeremy came in the room and I asked him if he had talked to his sister and he said yes so I didn't bother calling her back since he had updated her on Jack's progress. 

A little later in the day I posted a picture like the one above. Sister says it looks like strep. I respond saying that it wasn't strep because he had been tested for that. She then wrote that she wouldn't say anything about it again. I could tell she was mad (still not sure why but I knew she was mad) so I wrote "Oh it's fine. I thought it was too which is why I had them test him". I even said earlier that lots of people have suggested it was a strep rash. I wasn't trying to make her feel stupid because it was true, lots of people had suggested strep. 

Her next comment is what made me mad. 

I know your one tired mama but your being really rude about it to the Richards side of the family. So I will be talking to Jeremy about your attitude. I know we are nothing to you but he is still my blood and always will be. I have never laid eyes on Jack but I will one day. I don't see you talking that way to anybody else. My parents are hurt cause they can't be with y'all and help with Jack. Sorry we live so far away. 

Here is my take on the comment above:
1. I was not being rude and have no reason for her to even think I was being rude to her.

2. "Talk to Jeremy about my attitude" that is just funny.

3. He might be your blood but he is my husband and his relation to you has nothing to do with anything.

4. You might not lay eyes on Jack. 

5. I wasn't talking to anyone any way. I was sending quick responses to everyone on facebook. 

6. Her parents are hurt...no one is/was stopping them from coming here. They have only seen Jack once and that is because we took him to them. The day after Jack was flown to Baptist Hospital in Little Rock they were in Little Rock and never visited him while he was in the NICU. 

7. It has nothing about living far away. My best friend lives far away and yet during this time she never got angry that I didn't answer her phone call or when I had to cut her short when a nurse walked in or when I didn't update her as soon as something changed. Why? Because she is an understanding person. 

8. Instead of responding to her through Facebook where I knew things would get ugly I texted her instead. I told her that I did not appreciate her writing that on my Facebook page and that wasn't the place to discuss such topics (my co-workers had commented on that same post so I know they seen it). Right after it happened numerous people sent me texts and private messages regarding what was written with questions as to who was this crazy person and did I want them to respond accordingly (of course I said no). I told her she was also free to speak to Jeremy but that she wouldn't like what she heard. She sent me a text back to answer my phone the next time she calls-I will not be doing so. She hurt my feelings by being insensitive to the situation I was in and also creating drama where there wasn't any. 

She did take the comments down which I appreciate and I did thank her and she said your welcome and said no hurt feelings. Why would her feelings be hurt??? I am the one who was treated unfairly. Dr. Phil said it right-each person in a relationship needs to manage the issues with their own family. If my parents had a problem with Jeremy then I would take care of it, not him. 

Does anyone else have a family member who just loves drama?

Side note: The Joe Boxer K-Mart commercial disturbs me. 

7 comments :

  1. Poor Jack, I hope he is feeling better. That picture just breaks my heart. We've had our share of family( inlaw) drama. M and I just ingnore it and focus on what's important. We always say "they'll need us before we need them"

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  2. Hope Jack feels better soon! YES! we have had issues with my in laws for years. You are not alone. I agree with Lassen's Comment. Focus on what's important even though it is hard.

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  3. Ashley, I don't know you personally (yet), but you go on being an incredible mother to Jack. I cannot imagine what you have been experiencing, but I know nothing else in this world would matter to me besides getting my child healthy. And bless your sister-in-law's heart that she doesn't get it.

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  4. I agree with the Joe Boxer commercial.

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  5. The joe boxer commercial is awful!

    I was so pissed off for you when I saw all,of that unfold. You know I have my fair share of drama, I can't stand it and wish it would be dealt with how you and Jeremy deal with it. That is the way to do it.

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  6. um girl i have my own crazy sister in law.. Right now we are pretty close but she straight up started a fist fight with her own brother (my BIL) and his girl at my wedding. Yes. I know right. CRAZY.. i'm sorry you have 1 too. And lol i totally know which commercial you're talking about. I first saw it on ABC Family and my husband goes.. that's just wrong!

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  7. W.T.F. She sounds like she's the one with issues! So sorry had to deal with that while Jack was in the hospital :( I hope he's doing better now!

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