Just about everything he did pissed me off. I was super snappy and resentful. My body had went through torture (remember I had that horrible botched c-section and didn't recover until Jack was 9 months). I was the one who was sleep deprived, in pain, and completely exhausted. I couldn't help but to be angry with him. It wasn't healthy for me or him.
I knew I was being way too snappy and snarky but I really felt upset with him. He wasn't as helpful with Jack or around the house as I needed him to be. We ended up bickering a lot and avoiding each other emotionally.
In November I went to the doctor because my husband asked me to. He said he missed his wife. I knew things were bad but when he said he looked forward to work just to get away from me then I knew it was really bad. Of course, my first thought was anger. I wasn't too happy with him. I felt like he had let me down. When I went to the doctor I went for myself. I went to try and get my brain a break from all the anxiety.
He put me on Celexa and it has helped a lot. It isn't an overwhelming feeling. It just took my ball of nerves that I was walking around with and shrunk it. Within a few weeks my husband kept asking me if I were okay. He even thought I was being cold or distant because we weren't fighting. It's sad when he associated our connection with fighting.
This is when I wanted to start being actively productive at fixing things. I started intentionally doing the following things:
1. Cooking his favorite meals
2. Kissing him when he came home or left
3. Holding his hand in the car
4. Asking him how his day was
5. Saying I love you first
6. Giving his a surprise every once in awhile
7. Stopping myself from saying something back when he said something he knew would create a reaction
8. Ask for what I wanted
9. Snuggle/go to bed when he did
10. Watch whatever he is watching
These were just some not so simple things that I did to recreate a bond. They may sound simple but when you are in a situation of anger they are pretty difficult. Thankfully these things worked and our bond is stronger than ever.