Friday, January 24, 2014

Are You a Scorekeeper?

I'm the dork that has The Best of Oprah episodes saved on her DVR. The particular episode I wanted to watch was called "Are You Poisoning Your Relationship?". I've watched it several times and keep it as a go-to when I feel like I need a reminder on what not to do.

There were several ways that a person can contaminate their relationship but one specific way that I'm guilty of is being a scorekeeper. 

Overall, we as women are really good at remembering what we did for someone else and what they did for us. Isn't this specifically true with our husbands?  I can mentally keep up with every single little thing that I do around the house or for him specifically. Jeremy is always calling me out for doing it. I'll say exactly what chores I've done today and he'll ask me why I'm keeping score. I keep score to validate myself and my role. I also feel the need to remind him of how much he hasn't done. 

This is not a good practice. When you are keeping score you are playing a game. In a game there is a winner and a loser. Even if you win every single time, do you really want your husband to lose? Who is really losing? Probably the person who is killing themselves trying to win. But what are they really winning? 


  1. That's such a good point! It's so hard not to do though. We want to make a point of everything we do, especially if the other person seems to not be holding their weight.

  2. I read this post to my husband and he looked at me and said "that is so you." Ugh. Need to work on this

  3. This is me too. A always asks me "Where is my win button?" Definitely something I need to work on!

  4. This is a really good point!! And I really tend to do that with a lot of my relationships, not just my marriage. Definitely food for thought. Thanks for posting!