Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Duh I Love Him But Still.....

I know that everyone knows that life becomes different once you have a baby.
Would I trade it?
Some days.
Would I REALLY trade it?
I would think about it but probably not.
Then I would feel guilty about even thinking about trading it and think I'm going to jinx the health of my baby because I said that some days are really hard.
I work with close to 75 woman.
Most of them have babies.
I get a lot of questions about motherhood.
Most days I lie.
"Oh it's so wonderful!"
Reality.
I am exhausted.
Most times I can not figure out what is wrong with him.
I worry that he has this, that, and the other.
I just wanna chill for ten minutes and watch a little tv.
I just wanna finish a meal without you screaming.
Seriously why can't my husband and I agree about parenting.
Then you grin at me and I melt.
But then you projectile vomit all over me, your clothes, and the couch.
Then I'm mad because I just used all my energy so you would look cute.
I miss my husband.
I love seeing him play with Jack.
I'm a walking contradiction.
Days of laying in bed eating Mexican food and watching a Redbox movie are gone.
Mornings of nursing a hangover with Taco Bell are gone.
But I got a few other great things.
First smiles.
Rolling over.
Cute baby clothes.
Family traditions.
Being a family.
But it sucks at times.
Yeah I said it.
Take my mom card.

1 comment :

  1. It is rough, being a mom is hard work. You haven't had an easy time either. Things will get better my friend.

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