Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Accepting What You Can Not Change

Trying to live a life of intention can make you take a hard look at your life. There are some things in my life that I know needs some tweeking or a complete over-haul to make things better for our life. Change can be good. I'm a firm believer in self-reflection. 

However, there are things in life that just are the way they are. Although yes it is possible it could be changed (by doing something drastic) but logically some things just can't be changed (at least in the moment)

Here are a few points that have helped me to cope with accepting the things that can not change.

1. Look for the positives. I hate my husband's job schedule. He is gone for days/nights at a time. It is so hard to constantly readjust and he misses out on so much with Jack. Although, yes, he could just up and quit but that just can't happen right now. What I can do is remind myself of the positive aspects of his job schedule. Believe me, it is hard sometimes looking for the positive but it does help. One is we have a chance to miss him and so our time together is extra special.

2. Do what you can do. A disorganized house drives me over the top crazy. Working full time and taking care of Jack (who is such a mess maker) leaves me little time to keep the house as clean as I would like it. What I have discovered is if I do a few certain things (dishes washed, toys picked up, laundry off the floor, and bed made) I feel relaxed enough about the house to not let it drive me crazy.

3. Plan for the future. The medical debt we have incurred is beyond anything I could have ever imagined. It is going to take awhile to get it gone but what helps is thinking about the day when that debt is gone and what we can do with all that extra money. I can't change it now but it reminds me that it will not always be this way. 

4. Pray. Sometimes you just have to turn it over to the Lord. When you aren't happy with a situation and there isn't anything you can do to change it you can get bogged down with disappointment. That is okay. I'll say that again. It is okay to be disappointed. It is natural to feel that way. Pray for the Lord to give you peace and thank him for your many blessings. It will change your perspective the more you do this. An example of this in my life is me not being able to be a stay at home mom. 

5. Make a plan. I love to make a plan. With all of the issues that currently can not be changed I know that one day things will work out. In order for these things to work out a plan needs to be made. Making a plan isn't going to work for everything (for example, me having to take Jack to daycare) but it does work for a lot of things. Some things that I have made plans for (although I know they will not be changing anytime soon) are debt, activities we will do as a family, home improvements).

What are some ways you cope with accepting things you can not change? I would love to hear your answers because I am always looking for help in this area. 


  1. I feel that way about our credit card debt. It's slowly going down, but I wish it happened like yesterday. For now, I'm trying to accept that our financial situation is what it is and we're doing what we can to fix it. As a pessimist, this is something that isn't easy for me either.

  2. I love this post! One thing that you already mentioned is just understanding that things will not always be this way. That's so important to be able to remember and it makes me want to work harder to have the future that I want to have.