I Just Told a Lie

This is straight talk people. 

I need to be honest (at least somewhere) so you

 my blogging friends is where it's at.

Before I tell you my lie, let me back up and tell you how I got to a place where I lie to family. 

I'm off this week due to a slight issue with my wound that I'm still healing from.

This week off work was meant to be spent sitting as the doctor instructed. 

Well life had other plans.

Jack will not stop crying.

He has always been a fussy baby but the crying ALL THE TIME is new. 

I have had 8 total hours of sleep in 72 hours.

My food intake has consisted of kits kats, some chips, many Dr. Peppers (which I gave up 3 years ago and just now fell off the wagon), a hot dog, and lots of twizzlers. 

All of these items are easy to eat with one hand.

My husband swears I'll get a break when he gets home but listening to him say "your mom has you spoiled rotten" (even if he makes it into a song) does not help me.

After 5 minutes Daddy is looking for Mommy because he needs a break.

Just lovely my friends.

But let me continue.

Yesterday my mom (the only person who actually does give me a real break) fell and broke her knee and her leg. 

When my dad calls me I just assumed he was making it up.

He is kinda notorious for making stuff up for a good laugh but this was no joke.

My mom is the backbone of our family. 

She does everything. 

She takes care of my son and my nephew.

She cleans my grandmother's house.

She also works after we get off work.

She cleans.

She cooks.

She pays the bills.

She is super woman.

Now she is down.

I find it cute all the people calling my dad and asking him what he is going to do because everyone knows my mom does it all. He doesn't know where anything is. He can't cook. I'm not certain he knows how to work the washing machine. 

Okay so to my lie.

Under my parent's roof is my mom, dad, my sister, my brother in law, my nephew, and a dog.

With my mom in the hospital I came to help out around the house.

Chaos. 

After days of hearing Jack cry and worrying about my mom I needed a break.

I told my family I needed something from Walmart.

I even went as far as to sneak a Walmart sack into my purse so I could make it look like I went to Walmart. 

I did go to Walmart. 

I sat in the parking lot and listened to silence. 

Why couldn't I just say I needed a break?

As a wife and mother I don't want to appear weak.

There is so much pressure to be and do it all.

Good night my blogging friends.

Glad to get this off my chest. 

Mom Lessons Learned

Saturday Jack and I had our first big outing and I failed big time.

Lots of lessons learned.

We drove 2 hours to attend a baby shower.

Once we arrived I went to get his bottle ready. I had already put the water in the bottles.

Well the bottles leaked out all over everything in the bag. 

Water was everywhere.

Grabbed a plastic sack to protect the diapers.

I had brought one extra outfit that was now soaked.

After the shower I met my mom at Texas Roadhouse.

While inside he had a blowout. 

I knew it was bad.

The smell was horrid.

I felt so bad that I decided to take him to the car to change.

I put him in the backseat and he went ballistic.

He cried real tears. His tear ducts had been blocked and then at that moment he cried real tears.

I couldn't help but pick him up.

Got poop on me.

Laid him back down to examine the situation more and his clothes were ruined.

The other outfit I brought was soaked.

I used all the wipes I had to clean him up as much as possible.

Took off his pants.

Snapped up his onesie.

Wrapped him in his poop stained blanket and headed back inside to tell my mom we gotta go.

Thankfully we were close to a store so I ran inside and bought a new outfit. 

We head over to Michaels to change him and clean him up some more. 

We get him on the changing table.

They have no paper towels and I'm outta wipes.

What's a mom to do?

I took off his bib. Wet it and cleaned him.

That bib went straight into the trash.

He was not a happy baby.

He had never had a blowout before so this mom was not prepared.

Oh the lessons I learned that day.

This mom will be very much prepared next time we decide to go out again.

Yummy Cookies and Cream Bars

I made these wonderful Yummy Cookie Bars Friday night and they are now about gone. 

They are so simple to make and very yummy!

Step 1:

Take a devil's food cake mix and add 1 egg and one softened stick of butter.

Mix it all together and mash into a pan.

Step 2:

Take 14 cookies and crumble on top.

Step 3:

Pour a can of sweetened condensed milk on top.

Step 4:

Throw some chocolate chips on top.

Step 5:

Cook at 350 for about 23-25 minutes.

He Said, She Didn't

My husband is the best at saying how much he loves and appreciates me.

Us girls do love to hear those things.

I am the worst at saying how much I love and appreciate him.

During an argument I learned this about ourselves.

I'm more of a I will show you how much I love and appreciate you by my actions person.

What I never got until that argument is that he actually needs to hear it because my actions aren't taken as love and appreciation. 

When I say "hey why don't you go chill and watch tv" that is me saying "I know how hard you work and I appreciate it". 

He doesn't read into anything I say. 

I get that as of last night.

Okay so now let's talk about the other hand.

Although he is the best ever at saying he loves and appreciates me he isn't the greatest at showing it but he thinks he has showed it by saying it. 

All of this started because I wanted to take a nap. 

(Jack has been waking up in the night again and wanting to party.)

I got frustrated because I kept hinting at needing a nap but he would never say "hon, why don't you go rest because you need some sleep". 

My mind was reeling. 

Finally my mind had enough and my mouth needed to unload.

I told him how unappreciated I was feeling.

His response was "I tell you all the time how much I appreciate you."

And he does-but saying ain't doing. 

I forget that men don't read our minds which is confusing because my world is surrounded by women and we are the greatest at reading each others minds. 

Then I am around my husband and it is hard to remember "hey, I have to say exactly what I want". 

Why I am Putting Jack in Daycare

These are the numbers:

28

37

29

These are the miles we are dealing with at this time and something has to change.

We live in town A.

My mom lives in town B.

I work in town C.

Husband works in town D.

Husband goes to school in town B.

This is my second week back to work and my mom has been watching Jack which is great.

She loves him like I do. 

I know he is in great hands.

But things aren't working for us.

It is 28 miles to my parent's house.

37 more miles to my work.

29 miles to husband's work from my parents house.

If I drop him off I am driving 65 miles.

If husband drops him off he is driving 57 miles.

There is just not enough time in the mornings to get Jack to my parents and get to work by 7:30.

What we have been doing is after we get off work we go to my parent's house until bed time and then my husband and I go home.

Devastating. 

We have to leave Jack there in order for us to get to work in the mornings.

Not only do we leave him there because it is too hard time wise but also because it is cold and I don't want to have to get him out into the cold.

The road between our town and my parents' is over populated with deer that love darting out into the road.

My dad has hit 4 deer on that road!

Joys of living in southern Arkansas. 

We leave him there 2 nights a week and the other 3 nights we stay at my parent's house as well.

Confusing enough?

We can't live like this much longer so 2 days ago I looked at a daycare in the town that I work in.

I've done the research-high marks.

Do I like the idea of him in daycare?

Heck no!

Something has to change though. 

I feel guilty when I'm not with him and when I am there 

all I can think about is what needs done at home.

The owner of the daycare says a spot will most likely open in 2 weeks so we have at least 2 more weeks of living in a crazy chaos. 

Will I survive these next 2 weeks? 

Infant Rules

1. When you lay your baby down for the night and he isn't asleep do not go to bed yourself. You will only be disappointed. As soon as you go to sleep he will cry. It is best to wait until he has been asleep for a good 15 minutes before you go to bed. This will make you a lot less cranky.

2. Follow your gut. If you followed everyone's "you need to do this" your baby will be a research lab rat. I usually ask my mom, maybe a few friends, and then do what I think is best.

3. Do your own thing from time to time. Mommy guilt is horrible but work past it. It gets easier every time. If you lose your mind, you help no one.

4. Rant only to "safe" people. The last thing you want to hear is "but don't you just love your baby". Well duh I love my baby but it doesn't mean I don't hate living on basically no sleep. I've heard that after a certain amount of time your mind forgets how bad it was having a newborn.

5. Research is key before buying new baby products. My go to place is Amazon reviews and other moms. I have several purchases that I wish I could take back because they sucked.

6. Don't lie to other moms that have newborns. They need to know they aren't alone. If you paint a rainbows and sunshine life you are probably making them feel like crap. Be a friend-share your misery. 

7. Plan ahead. This one is easy for me because I'm a planner but if you are not you better learn quick. The last thing you need is to run out of diapers at 2 am. Also, who wants to make numerous trips to the store with a baby. 

8. The first time you go to the store that has buggies make sure you bring someone with you. The car seat that we have has these little clasps that work there way around the metal part of the buggy.  You have to press them lose to get the car seat off. Imagine being in Walmart parking lot with it freezing and you can't get the car seat off the buggy. I seriously freaked out. It took me a good 5 minutes to figure it out and I promise I'm not an idiot. 

9. Go ahead and stock up on gas drops. They are your friend.

10. Don't buy too many clothes. Sometimes I change Jack's outfits during the day just so he will have a chance to wear it. He has worn a few things a few times but most things only once. Also, don't buy too many "going out" outfits. You probably aren't going many places in the newborn stage. Sleepers is what your little one will mainly wear. 

Baby Sign Language

I received this book as a gift from a mother who used and loved it.

We have decided to give it a try.

Jack is 3 months old so it's still a little early since the book recommends 6-8 months but it also says that the earlier you start it the better. 

So we have chosen 10 words to start with now.

Here is our list:

Milk

Mommy

Daddy

Happy

Grandma

Grandpa

Book

More

Sleep

Bath

You don't have to buy the book to do baby sign language.

All of the signs can be found online.

I enjoyed the book because it gave me great instructions and more explanations. 

My motivation for doing this is that my nephew is 18 months old and just will not speak. We have to guess what he wants and that can get frustrating for baby and caregiver. 

There are also many learning and language benefits.

I'll keep everyone updated as we continue.

What I've Been Crafting

I know everyone has seen these floating around the amazing blog land.

I was pumped to make one of my own.

The only thing I did differently was I used stickers instead of printing "I Love You Because...".

I still need to attach a dry erase marker to the side as well. 

Every single time I go to the store I forget to pick one up.

I meant to have this completed by Valentine's Day but oops! 

Now it will be a "just because" gift to my husband.

\

I don't have a mantel so I always put garland up on the big mirror above our couch. 

This cost me 2 dollars to make. I picked up the materials at Dollar Tree.

They have green and white leis 3 for a dollar.

I also got a package of green sparkly shamrocks for a dollar. 

Hot glued the leis together and then added the shamrocks throughout. 

A simple and easy Patty's Day garland!

What I Hate About My Husband

Love is in the air this week so I thought I would do a spin off of why I hate my husband.

1. Wet Wiley-he loves doing this to me while I am driving down the road and it drives me crazy. 

Can not stand it!!!

2. Hair-when he shaves he gets hair everywhere. I hear him in the bathroom right now shaving and I cringe at all the hair I know he is getting all over the place. He swears he cleans it up but he doesn't get it all and I can see them. It is a battle I have learned not to fight. I just keep wipes in the bathroom and I clean them up myself.

3. Leaves his phone at home-he is horrible about keeping his phone on him. There is nothing more frustrating than him running to the store and then remembering we needed something else and I try to call him and I hear his phone ringing inside the house. It makes me want to page him at the store.

4. Snoring-that man can fall asleep faster than anyone I have ever met. Before I can get to sleep he is out and snoring and then I can't fall asleep because of his damn snoring. 

5. Talking on the phone in the car while I am on the phone-the man must be deaf because he talks so loudly. We will be in the car and I'll be on the phone and then suddenly he is calling someone also and then I can't hear what the person is saying that I'm talking to. 

Of course, I really do love my husband. He has been my anchor through my medical ordeal and I couldn't have went through it without him. I love him very much and since having Jack I love him even more. Nothing better than seeing the love of your life making the other love of your life laugh out loud. 

Duh I Love Him But Still.....

I know that everyone knows that life becomes different once you have a baby.

Would I trade it?

Some days.

Would I REALLY trade it?

I would think about it but probably not.

Then I would feel guilty about even thinking about trading it and think I'm going to jinx the health of my baby because I said that some days are really hard.

I work with close to 75 woman.

Most of them have babies.

I get a lot of questions about motherhood.

Most days I lie.

"Oh it's so wonderful!"

Reality.

I am exhausted.

Most times I can not figure out what is wrong with him.

I worry that he has this, that, and the other.

I just wanna chill for ten minutes and watch a little tv.

I just wanna finish a meal without you screaming.

Seriously why can't my husband and I agree about parenting.

Then you grin at me and I melt.

But then you projectile vomit all over me, your clothes, and the couch.

Then I'm mad because I just used all my energy so you would look cute.

I miss my husband.

I love seeing him play with Jack.

I'm a walking contradiction.

Days of laying in bed eating Mexican food and watching a Redbox movie are gone.

Mornings of nursing a hangover with Taco Bell are gone.

But I got a few other great things.

First smiles.

Rolling over.

Cute baby clothes.

Family traditions.

Being a family.

But it sucks at times.

Yeah I said it.

Take my mom card.

My First Day Back to Work

I'm an elementary librarian.

The last time I was in my library it was October 30, 2012.

My plan was to return to work January 7, 2013.

Things went wrong with my c-section and I ended up having surgery January 11.

Today was my first day back.

I was not ready.

I have hated being in pain but I have loved being able to see Jack.

If it were financially possible I would be a stay at home mom. 

So back to today.

Everyone was so kind. 

They stopped by to check in on me and see pictures of my precious Jack. 

Before I left today my principals gave me a fat envelope full of money.

$500!!!!

Wow!

We needed this money so badly right now. 

Medical bills are eating us up and because I had to be out so long my check is being docked $600 each month until August.

Ouch!

It was the greatest gift.

Everyone has given me such love with their thoughts and prayers.

Although I wasn't thrilled about going back to work, it was a good day.

It felt good being back and doing what I am meant to do.

Jack is staying with his NaNa tonight.

I have wonderful parents. 

Here he is at my parents house.

I love technology.

Tomorrow I get to do it all over again and I know that each day will get easier. 

PS...2 years ago I met my husband. I never would have thought that I would be married to that man and have his baby. Oh Life how you trick me in the best way.

Twenty Wishes

It is February and it is time to link up on how I am doing on my Twenty Wishes for 2013. I think I've done okay, not great, but okay. So here goes...

1. Crochet a blanket-I haven't started but I did get a crocheting kit from my Cara Box partner so there is no excuse now.

2. Make a scrapbook of Jack's first year-I've started but barely.

3. Romantic weekend with my husband-not yet but hopefully soon.

4. Do a spa day with mom and sister-plans for that are in May

5. Weigh under 160-haha

6. Attend a wine tasting-who has time for wine???

7. Host a party for friends-gonna wait until I am better and it is a little warmer

8. Charitable marathon-waiting for warmer days

9. Visit 3 places I've never been-I haven't been anywhere

10. Take family portraits-have looked up photographers so that is something

11. Cook something new once a month-I have been great at this one. My German Chocolate Icing was wonderful.

12. Get my eyebrows done-I didn't get them done professional but I did do them myself but I still want to get them done professionally.

13. Do 10 acts of random kindness-I need to start remembering exactly when I do this things so I'll remember. 

14. Get a new hairdo-almost got this done last week but now having to wait. Money is tight around here.

15.  Pick a charity-Arkansas Children's Hospital

16. Put together a family cookbook-I've started

17. Family vacation-this is a summer one

18. Matching underwear-not ready for this one yet

19. Do a blog giveaway-did this!

20. 10 personalized gifts for family or friends-need to remember to document when I do these

I purchased a super cute planner so my plan is to copy these down into it so I can have it as a reminder each day. It's only February but I don't want the year to get ahead of me and not accomplish my 20 Wishes.

I Love My Dryer

I've taken a few days off from blogging to spend time with my family. I return back to work tomorrow and just wanted to spend some time with my baby Jack before my time with him would be limited. 

The last 2 days Jack has either been eating, sleeping, or screaming his head off. 

We tried everything.

Bouncing

Playing

Walking

Swing

Vibrating Seat

Music

Dancing

Laying

Sitting

Nothing worked

He was changed, fed, and didn't appear to be sick.

I had heard about the dryer trick from a few mamas so I got desperate and gave it a try.

What did I get?

Day One of Dryer Trick

Day 2 of Dryer Trick

All this new time in the utility room has made for a clean area. Now I just need to decide to either move the dryer to the living room or move the tv to the utility room. 

German Chocolate Cake Icing

My mom's favorite cake is a German Chocolate Cake. After seeing a recipe for coconut icing on Trisha Yearwood's new cooking show I decided to make it for a German Chocolate Cake. I used a boxed cake mix because it is just way easier and I'm all about easy. 

Here is what you will need:
1 cup evaporated milk
1 cup sugar (not pictured)
4 egg yolks
1 stick of butter
10 oz coconut (I used a little less)
1 1/2 cups nuts (finely chopped)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract 

1. Combine evaporated milk, sugar and egg yolks in a saucepan

2. Stir with whisk until yolks are fully incorporated

3. Add butter, melt, and bring to a simmer

4. Cook until mixture thickens (12-15 minutes), stiring constantly

5. Add coconut, nuts, and vanilla

6. Spread on cake and enjoy

This is by far my favorite German Chocolate cake I've ever had...WONDERFUL!

Top 5 Baby Items

When I found out I was pregnant was when I discovered blogs. I did many hours of blog stalking looking for the must have baby items. Now that I have a 4 month old I have my own items that I couldn't live without. 

1. Rock and Play Sleeper. It is his favorite place to sleep. I can put it by the bed and rock him when I need to at night. It also folds up nicely and easy to transport.

2. Boppy. I love it for putting around me and feeding Jack. 

3. Swaddle. Jack will hit himself in the face and wake himself up so we have to swaddle him at night.

4. Gripe water. We don't have to use it often, but when we do it is a God send.

5. Jack loves his wubannub. Read my post here about Jack's love for Frank.

5 for Five

I seriously have sucked at being productive lately. Granted I have a huge wound in my abdomen but still...I hate not completing the items on my list.

Well here goes:

1. Make 2 scrapbook pages- I did start and then Jack started crying. I had everything laid out and was getting it done but Jack would not calm down so I had to put everything away. I have learned from this experience that the best thing for me to do is to find a scrapbook location so I don't have to keep getting out and putting up the stuff. There will be times where I might only have 5 minutes to work.

2. Finish Sparkle-didn't even open the book. 

3. Start crocheting-did not start in any way shape or form. 

4. Take Valentine pictures-got that done and you can check those out here. 

5. Start family cookbook-I actually sat down and typed up a couple of the recipes.

Here are my goals for the coming week:

1. Type out 3 more recipes.

2. Write lesson plans for my first week back to work.

3. Finish paying bills.

4. Finish Sparkle.

5. Start a bedtime routine for myself and Jack. 

I hope to have a more productive week this time! 

Now That Is Love

My husband and I have this little cute thing that we do that makes my heart smile.

Say I come home from the grocery store with a Reese cup (my husbands all time fav yummy) 

my husband will say "now that is love". 

Now that example is pretty straight forward. 

Every day we rarely see the small things our loves do for us.

They become expected.

When you start looking for these things and acknowledge them they become more frequent.

For us they have become a game.

Here is another example....be prepared for TMI.

If my husband is on the pot and he screams "Babe!" I know that there is no toilet paper and I'm about to have to enter a not so safe environment. 

I enter the room. Toilet paper in hand.

Husband says: "now that is love".

My husband shaved my legs during my pregnancy and even painted my toes.

I looked down at him and said "now that is love".

Here are a few quick examples:

-my husband turning on Law and Order when he wants to watch Family Guy (now that is love)

-me bringing home a redbox movie for my husband (now that is love)

-my husband holding my hair back while I puke (now that is love)

-me laughing at my husbands jokes (now that is love)

-my husband telling me my cooking is good (now that is love)

We love making the other one laugh by having a reason to say "now that is love".

What is something that your man does that makes you say "now that is love"?